...and then he said, while we squeezed in a conversation as i drove from work to f's daycare to go pick her up, "you should start a blog. your own blog, like, totally separate from work. your own thing. register your domain. do it." and i thought, "yikes". and now it's a week later and i'm sitting here listening to the new transfer record (working title: "future selves") and, well, blogging? i'm blogging. i'm typing, and pausing, and typing a little more, and stopping as i get lost in another song because this record is going to be so damn good (listening to a song called "my suspicions" right now). and meanwhile, it's bittersweet. because my husband j was in transfer, like, forever. he was in ten pound brown back in chico, and they all moved here to san diego to "give it a go" and then they broke up and they started transfer and he put his heart and his love and his time and everything into transfer, and then last februrary, he called it a day. now transfer have a new bass player (shaun) and a new record and i'm listening to it as i type, and it's bringing up all these feelings: gratitude for my husband and our girl f and that he realized how huge and important it was for him to be home more and touring less, or, not at all; sadness, that he's no longer a part of this awesome creative force that was his passion for so long; and hope, that maybe THIS will be the record that finally "does it" for transfer. but i digress.
so, here i am, blogging. where does anyone start, when they start a blog? i guess i should go back and look at dooce's archives, and design mom and jordan ferney and ask moxie and all the people whose blogs i adore, whose blogs have gotten me through another day, when i was deep in the heart of new parenthood or, more recently, struggling with being a mom and a wife and a friend and a DJ on the radio and all that they all entail. and there's more than that, even, as there's way more to everyone, right? so much more. so where do i start? back in high school, when i wrote in yearbooks that someday my friends would hear me on the radio? or back when i got my first "real" radio job on KNAC? or, when i met j? or i could start with how it took us a year to get pregnant, and then we did, and then the station i had worked at for almost 10 years laid me off, four days after i told them i was pregnant? or, f's birth? where to begin? where to begin. right here?