Tuesday, March 30, 2010

where we at

well, j got his wires off on monday. he has two broken molars that need fixing, but other than that he's all "look at me! eating solid food!" so that rocks.

unfortunately, the morning he went in to get those wires removed, he woke up with near-debilitating pain from what his chiropractor, neurologist, and primary care doctor all think is a bulging disc. homeboy can barely talk, let alone sleep or just plain deal. i feel really helpless, and i'd like to punch the physical therapist who can't see him until NEXT TUESDAY. we're exploring other options, because, dude. that is ridonk. and the amount of calls, referrals, appointments, x rays, MRIs, approvals, more phone calls, faxes, snotty receptionists and general BS that he is going through just to get some relief - it is truly mind boggling.

on top of all of that fun - wait! it gets better! i have a sinus infection that now safely falls into the "recurring" category. nothing sounds better on the radio than a nasal DJ. my doctor couldn't get me in until MAY so i am going to urgent care this afternoon before i pick up f. f, who, lucky her, gets to come with me to my annual gyno appointment tomorrow because j can't deal and when i tried to reschedule that one, they said "does june work for you?"

the good news is, f is all kinds of hilarious these days. that is, when she's not melting down because it's dinner time and she can't watch "ponyo" for the 4 millionth time. mostly, she is totally awesome. sleeping well, knock on wood. doing well at school. happy and funny and still calling me "little girl". she even wore her "princess dress" to school today. you know, over her clothes. it's a good look.

so that's it. life, punching us in the guts right now. we'll get through it! i know it could be a lot worse.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

nature's alarm clock

this is the story of how f woke j up this morning. see, i was already awake and she and i had gotten in some serious snuggles, but j was still snoozing away, as is usually the case. noticing that and not being willing to stand for it for one more second, f crawled over to his side of our bed and pretty much yelled,


not a question, mind you. a STATEMENT. a VERY LOUD one, in her loudest voice. a voice that feels about 1,000 decibels louder than usual when it is the first thing you hear in the quiet, quiet morning. and i have no idea where she picked that up, as the baha men aren't in regular rotation at our house. regardless, i lay there, giggling and sorta loving it, knowing j was swimming up out of sleepsville, thinking "WTF?"

she continued, leaning over him in the barely-there light of dawn, yelling,


by the time she yelled "DAD! SHARKS LIKE TO EAT FISH!!" i'm pretty sure he was fully awake.

who needs an alarm clock when you have a three year old? not us, that's for sure. earplugs, maybe. but not an alarm clock.

Friday, March 19, 2010

little baby.

when f was almost one, i started searching high and low for a baby doll that, while being cute and snuggly and ideally easy to clean, would not spend the next 400 years off-gassing toxic fumes. i finally found one that met all of my criteria, and "little baby" joined our family at christmas in 2007. f was ecstatic and little baby quickly became a constant in our lives. and now, two years of serious love later, little baby is no longer a looker. i mean, she's got a sweet face, but she has developed a lazy eye and her cloth body is, how do i say this? deflated? it's deflated. she's got a permanent tattoo scribbled onto her forehead. she's dingy. in other words, she is well loved.

little baby is f's favorite. like, if purple baby, big baby, happy baby, green baby, prairie dawn and jo jo were going to have a cage match, f would absolutely put her money on little baby. little goes with us when we travel, little bathes with f, little swims in the sink and the wading pool, and more often than not, little baby gets to sleep with f. and f's love of little baby, her sweet sweet adoration, her mauling touches and gentle swaddles and sleepy snuggles - it has all helped me to fall in love with little baby too. i love her for what she does for f. she is my favorite too, lazy eye be damned. little baby is awesome. so when little baby got some heat in f's classroom not too long ago, i felt myself getting a little defensive.

let me backtrack a smidge. fridays are f's "share days", where she gets to bring something from home to share with her class. and f LOVES share day. we play share day a lot at home: f spies something interesting, then brings it over to where i'm sitting, tucks it behind my back, and instructs me to say "boys and girls, i have something to share!" at which point, as i start to repeat it, she will interrupt me to remind her friends to "be quiet, we need to put our listening ears on!" no matter if there are no friends in sight. her stuffed animals, chastened, do tend to STFU and listen. so we play share day, and we take turns sharing things, and sometimes we are allowed to touch the things she wants to share and sometimes, we are not. f loves share day, and i love it with her because she loves it so much.

the idea with share day is, ostensibly, the kids are supposed to bring something to share that coincides with whatever unit they are working on for those two weeks ("brown! the letter N! rectangles!") but from day one, f's share toy has been little baby more often than not. at first, she was open to alternating. like one week she might get a wild hair and bring happy baby instead, or even - get this! - green baby. but i think for the last 7 or 8 weeks running, f has brought little baby as her share toy every friday. sometimes i do try to encourage another choice, as in "hey love, what about your brown bear? or your pinwheel?" but she is just not having it. and i don't push it because frankly: it doesn't bother me in the least, i think it's kinda cute, and it's just not a battle worth having.

so last friday when i picked f up, we had some hugs and then she walked across the room to go get little baby out of the share box. and while she was over there across the room, her friend k walked up to me with her hands on her hips and said "you know, she ALWAYS brings that baby." i think chuckled a little and said, "yep, she sure loves that baby!" to which k repeated herself, "BUT SHE BRINGS IT EVERY WEEK." i said "i know, she really loves it! she wants to bring it with her, every week. you're right about that." at which point k crossed her arms over her chest, looked me right in the eye and said "i'm annoying with that baby."

"you're annoyed with it? with little baby?" i said, suppressing a giggle.

"YES," (you idiot! her look said) "I AM ANNOYING WITH THAT BABY!"

and for a second, i really didn't know what to say! "well, you don't have to play with it, then. you can just ignore it, i guess..." was what i think i said to her. i mean, she was pissed! and i was caught off guard, and that was the best i could come up with. and with that, she stomped off. and then f came skipping up to me, little baby in the crook of her arm, all smiles and blissfully ignorant of the exchange that had just transpired. "let's go, mama!"

so, we did.

Monday, March 15, 2010

mix tape.

though it's not really on a cassette, unfortunately, tonight i made a mix CD as a birthday gift for a friend. as soon as i turned on my computer, i was completely sucked in. it took me about 45 minutes just to choose all the songs, and another 20 minutes to put them in the right order: you know, the right one? just the right order. mix tapes! one of the few things i miss about the 80s.

so i made it for a dear sweet lovely friend of mine, tara, who has been going through some really rough stuff in her life lately, and while i didn't want it to be too much of a downer, i'm big on music as catharsis and wanted to set her up with some gems that would hit her in the right spot. i'm burning myself a copy too, because so many songs that i have in itunes just don't get to see the light of day nearly enough. i'm kinda nerding out on the radness. so, don't tell tara, but this is what she's getting for her birthday:

the scabs "don't be so stingy with your pingy"
the moondoggies "black shoe"
hacienda "she's got a hold on me"
m. ward (with zooey, but not officially she & him) "never had nobody like you"
band of horses "is there a ghost"
blitzen trapper "furr"
blitzen trapper "not your lover"
death cab for cutie "marching bands of manhattan"
amos lee "keep it loose, keep it tight"
amos lee "all my friends"
john prine & iris dement "in spite of ourselves"
greg laswell "in spite of me" (morphine cover)
mark eitzel "firefly" (live)
sarah mclachlan "good enough" (live on kcrw)
wilco "passenger side"
wilco "impossible germany"
unbelievable truth "settle down"
luka bloom "bad" (u2 cover)
aj croce "lying on the ground"

and i wanted to include brad mehldau's nine minute piano version of radiohead's "paranoid android", but the tape ran out. bummer.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

i have no words.

i do know that this is my new favorite thing ever, in all the land, infinity...