Thursday, July 29, 2010

did i say this was my favorite age?

i may have spoken too soon. because, sweet jesus. all of the sudden, like, since monday? f has been acting out at school in ways that have me freaking out a little bit. when i'm done giggling, that is. every day when i pick her up, if she's had a "good day," her teachers just smile and everything is peachy. but when she's had a "bad" day, the teachers give me a list of her transgressions and then usually we have a little pow-wow with f to talk about it. which, you know, is easy and fun, when she's climbing all over me and her friends are coming up to chat every 2.2 seconds or to shove lego alligators in our faces or to yank her lego alligator out of her hands which causes her to yell and run after them which results in the perpetrator getting a talking to from the teacher who was just trying to talk with us. see? easy peasy.

monday, i was informed she pulled her pal c down by the neck and also elbowed her friend j in the stomach. (ok, those ones are not funny. but i do know she has been on the receiving end of that kind of thing too - they all seem to be rough with each other from time to time. not excusing it from her, just, you know. they are kids...)

tuesday, i was told she "didn't use her good listening ears" and "used too much soap" when she was washing her hands. (how dare she?)

yesterday tickled me the most: when i picked her up, her teachers said, "well, she had a good day, for the most part, although she did call one friend an 'idiot!' and told another friend, when they sat where she wanted to sit, that she was going to "cut their head off!"


don't get me wrong - j and i are taking this seriously and have been talking with her about options for handling situations when she gets mad, etc. nothing has changed at home; if anything, she's been sleeping great lately and we've been having a lot of fun at home of late. she's healthy, as far as we know, and we haven't discovered any food sensitivities (aside from an allergy to cashews) so i don't think it's anything physical. she's one of the "older" kids in her classroom now as a lot of her friends have already moved up to the next level - that could be part of it, and she'll join them come september. but sometimes, i just have to laugh a little bit. i mean, wow. "you idiot!" coming out of the mouth of a (usually) sweet 3 year old? it just makes me giggle (somewhat guiltily). her teacher said while at first she told her "mommy says it!" when asked where she had learned that, she later admitted that "they say it on shrek!" which, well, they do. ditto for the head chopping. so we've been talking a lot about how TV is pretend and even though they may say things in movies, does that make it ok for us to repeat them? no, it doesn't.

so much for my plan to plant her in front of this tonight:


  1. I have a 14-year-old son and thanks to him (I can blame him right?) for the past year or so I call everyone I don't like a douche. That's 14-year-old (and apparently older) speak for "idiot" perhaps F. could add that to her repertoire? ;-) I kid, I kid.

    In all seriousness, I am not surprised at all that your daughter is doing some of the stuff she is doing. Not sure how close to four F. is, but I remember very clearly (and have had friends confirm this) that four is when the "you are not my friend" stage begins. I think around two they figure out that they are separate from their parents, and then at three and a half, four, they figure out that words equal power. If F. is now one of the oldest in her class it makes total sense to me that she is testing out her new power on the younger (safer) kids. Seems normal to me. I agree it is not something that you want her to do on a regular basis but I don't think it is something the teachers need to make you (or her) feel horrible, or alarmed about. They are called "developmental stages" for a reason.

    Just my two cents. :) Love the video by the way! Funny stuff!

  2. Three can be very tough. Hang on for the ride.

    I have heard great things about this book

  3. thanks, you guys. she's pretty much exactly three and a half, and yes, the "you are not my friend anymore!" has already started too. fun!

    punkymama, i'm going to put that book on library hold. thanks for the reccomendation!