out of sorts.

the good news is: escrow on both houses has closed and we are closer to moving into our new house now than we've ever been. we are all healthy and summer has been good to us so far, aside from a nasty case of swimmer's ear that f got. after some heartbreaking lay-offs at my work, i am grateful to the very core of my being for my job, one that i truly adore. we have so much to be thankful for.

the bad news is: something i've learned about myself is that i am a creature of habit, i am a homebody, and i am a planner. so all this living in friends' houses - while a fun adventure at times and definitely a giant gift - it is throwing me off my game, if you will. i'm having a hard time relaxing, i'm more short-tempered, i'm stressed out. we are living out of suitcases and plastic bins and trying to get stuff done to our new house before we move in, and i feel like a heel for struggling a little bit here. we're so lucky the way the timing worked out and that we have such generous, kick-ass friends who are graciously letting us stay in their homes. there's even a rad pool at the house we're staying in right now. but i just feel like i'm at loose ends. wtf?

back to the good news: i know it's all going to be over really soon, we'll get to move into our new digs and get back into our routine, and i'll grow some new roots in our new part of town. i really can't wait. in the meantime, i made myself meditate yesterday, for the first time in months, because my fuse had just been so short with f the day before and i knew something needed to shift within me, that i was not handling it all very well and it's totally not fair for me to take it out on f. even when she does body slam me and land right on my belly, then karate chop me on the shins and get pissed when i ask her for the 10th time to please brush her teeth. she's 4, i'm 38. we had a better day yesterday and the light at the end of this transitory tunnel is getting brighter by the minute.